Depression From A Heart Break

Hey Loves, I am not in a good position in my life emotionally right now. I am not the best with expressing my personal life so open. I have learned that writing is my outlet, to be honest, and escape from everything around me. For the longest, I thought I wouldn't find love. I didn't have the best of luck growing up. I guess I wasn't pretty enough. I used to think the reason I was alone because of my weight. I try eating less, skipping meals, because I thought it will make the weight come down faster. I was starving myself in high school to be like the other girls that guys found attractive. I'm always been alone. Still, to this day I only have a small group of friends I trust. When I first experienced love I didn't know how to accepted it. I didn't have experience dating. I didn't know how to love my twin flame when we first met. Having him in my life was something new. I was a virgin when we met, as time went on he became my first for everything. Before he came into my life I was depressed. I was not confident with myself or happy with my lifestyle. I wasn't motivated to do anything. I had thoughts of not wanting to be alive. I was in a dark place in my life it was hard to talk to someone about what I was experiencing mentally. Right now, I am alone. I'm having a hard time coping with my heartbreak. I know as time passes on I will recover. I feel like love is not real for me. I don't think I will ever find my true love. I want to experience love with someone who wants to be here as my king. I want to build a foundation of generating wealth and abundance with my partner one day. I hope one day my happiness will come.